ADVERT: Training is provided in how to handle your alcohol. We provide training in 6 stages:

1. How to puke your alcohol effortlessly (i.e. all over yourself), in all positions (e.g. sitting, lying, standing, squatting)

2. How to control your actions while drunk (i.e. not pee all over the toilet cubicle and the people in the toilet and make "wheeee~!" noise)

3. How to drink your alcohol and puke at the same time.....THROUGH THE SAME STRAW.

4. How to not do stupid things when you are not yet drunk (i.e. tell your friend, "Let's get drunk~!" when seeing another already dead drunk)

5. How to not smack the people who are trying to help you get home.

6. How to not sleep on every single road surface on the way home (i.e. on the pavement, on the bench, an oily patch on the road)

We have highly experienced professionals ready to help you in every part of the training. Female students please wear a chastity belt as a precautionary measure. The school will not take responsibility should you get too drunk and decide to go wild with our trained professionals. Male students please come for training with thick black rubber bands. You know what to do with them. Get the more elastic type, they allow better blood flow, and they hurt more. :)